Style Star

The long break I have had from blogging has given me d opportunity to go into a venture my wife encouraged me to selling cars. ‘You might as well enrich the lives of others by helping them acquire good cars since you have a vast knowledge about cars and get off on them’, those were her words precisely!!!

From my little experience Japanese cars sell like hot south African hookers and d golden egg among the japs is Toyota.A dead beat Toyota will sell  much faster than an A spec BMW of comparable age and price. In Nigeria, the Camry is Toyota’s most popular model and its greatest rival is the Honda accord. In the brand new car segment the Camry has mostly had the upper hand in terms of sales numbers haven sold 440,000 cars in 2012 against the accords 330,000 in God’s own country *source www.motorintelligence.com *

  
However in the styling dept d accord has always been miles ahead( Honda halla is still being purchased in decent numbers till date in Nigeria, the Camry equivalent is dead and extinct just like our good old  dinosaur friends from Jurassic park).
This disparity in styling is ever more evident in the latest offerings from the greatest rivalry from the ancient fareast nation.

2013 Honda Accord

2013 Honda Accord interior

2013 Toyota Camry

2013 Toyota Camry interior

As is evident from the pictures above, Toyota maintains its philosophy of focusing on reliability and usability rather aesthetics and visual cues.  The current edition of Toyota's Camry is a vast improvement from the fifth generation*aka Big for nothing* which was as interesting as a baboons Butt.

2003 Toyota Camry interior

An African proverb says ‘when the elephant fights, it’s the grass that suffers’. In this case, the grass has gained a great deal. Hyundai and kia have in the last decade, closed the gap on the big Japanese two. The Hyundai Sonata offering superb styling, improved handling and no longer the whooping boy it once was for the Japanese, the Korean’s have their heads out of the sand.  Its no news that Hyundai and Kia are sister companies and as such share parts. The top of the line sonata offers a Direct injected, turbo charged 2.0L 4 cylinder engine delivering 278Hp that thwarts the best efforts from Toyota and Honda’s equivalent engines in the form of 3.5L V6’s that put out 268Hp

2012 Hyundai Sonata

Point, if you keep doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result, its known as madness.

Last of the Meheecans

Its no secret i love cars. It’s a family tradition,Niyi recently interrupted the journey home to see his paternal grandfather when he insisted on taking the wheels on 3rd mainland. It was a battle to get him off the steering wheel and into the backseat where most kids would rather be. So when the opportunity arose to embark on a 400+Km trip I advised we have a road trip rather than fly to Atani as the last single member of OMTIS took his traditional wedding rites.
The trip had the usual Omtis appeal, lots of alcohol, pretty girls(my sisters) and high speed for some parts of the Journey. Ada his wife hails from Atani in anambra state and departure was lagos. Painfully we didn’t roll out in the green Hornet. In hindsight it was a good idea as Benin-Ore road is littered with men of the Nigerian Police that constitutes a mess with their numerous road stops, quite often the distance between each stop is less than 2 kilometers. It’s a nightmare for private cars on the road. The driver of the Hiace that took us to Atani was a speed Demon and we at some point deliberated on setting up an eastern branch for Omtis. We however declined as he was just too wreckless and as such wouldn’t be a worthy member of Omtis. I do wonder though how Toyota engineers the Hiace, as I’m sure its less than 200hp in output but accelerates with so much ferocity off the line when pushed hard.
The worst section of the highway to the eastern part of Nigeria resides in Ondo state (I wonder what that state is for). It’s virtually impassable. The picture above shows just how badly Nigerian’s will go to ensure their personal safety.

Hang on if you got fists of steel



L-R: Snakey, Vas1, D popo, Jigga, Charlie Manson, Macrosoft, Lord flat head
For the few confirmed dude’s that made the trip from all over Nigeria, it was a worth while effort as there was too much to eat and drink. “Drew” spread a rumour that the only person who finished up his food was Mr ELemide , I won’t say which, 3 Mr Elemide’s were present. A nice part of the Ceremony was the Pole Dancer on the Scene
Chei Nna what is dis girl trying to do?

Happy Married Life Mr&Mrs ELemide

The Bugatti Veyron Super Sport tearing down speed records!!!!!!!!!!!

Topgear's own Capt. slow mans the BVSS as it eats up land speed records!!!!!!!

Vas1's Car of the Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Traditionally, I always get my blog posts off with "my best" car from the preceding year. For the year ending 2010, it's going to be a whole lot tougher. On my way home sometime around Christmas, i was listening to Cool Fm. Freeze was on the show and he was talking about the Govt's decision to reverse the age limit of used cars being imported to Nigeria. The new rule now says you can import cars under 15years into the country. Being a radio, TV or print media personality, ethics demands that care be taken when airing your views. Freeze was of the opinion that it was better to drive a used car( tokunbo) from a reputable brand as against being made to drive what he called a 'car that had a name from an under wear company, had its engine from Mitsubishi and the interior was hoisted from a Toyota). The car he described above happens to be Chinese.
Freeze aside, lets look at the bigger picture. Range Rover, prior to it being taken over by Tata had its Engines being supplied by BMW, today Range Rover's engines come from Jaguar. The Audi R8 (used by Iron Man in the sequel) has its engine supplied by its sister company Lamborghini. The Rolls Royce phantom has transmission being supplied by its German owners(BMW). A Car is made up of several components, and its not un-common to have parts being supplied by different companies from varying continents. A 100+ years ago when Carl Benz and Gotlieb Daimler started working on the Internal Combustion Engine, little did they know that someday their cars would become the De-facto standard in Luxury cars. Thanks to Technology, the Chinese that Our Intelligent and Highly educated Freeze chose to run down have so very well employed the technique that car building nations employ, "Start from building something"!!!!!
About a decade ago when the Chinese tried to make an incursion into the European market, they failed woefully. The Brilliance car being tested got 0 Stars on its Euro Ncap crash tests, today i can confidently tell you, they now have 3stars on a brilliance model. GM, Toyota, BMW and every major Car manufacturer now has a production plant in China. What did China do, they started building something!!!!!
The Chinese technique works. They simply employed the principles which other car building nations employed.
Now to GEJ, who reversed the Ban, i shake my head. That is not the path for a country that ever hopes to build cars to take. OK, that's even pushing the envelope, its not a step for a country that hopes to ever assemble cars to take. With the Global meltdown a few years back, it was the perfect time to get the likes of Chrysler, GM and all Car Manufacturers that struggled globally to come to Nigeria to build and sell their low cost cars which they could even export to the US and other parts of the world. Please.. please do not tell me the lack of power would have made them fail. The reason no one at the centre thought of such is most likely greed and its that same greed that is driving the need to reverse the ban. The huge duties going to Neighboring countries is definitely a tempting factor, as these cars will now come through Nigerian ports where there'l be more duties for our customs men to collect.
The truth is this, you cannot hope to become a force among the committee of Nations if we keep doing things in half measure and it doesn't look like its going to change anytime soon!!!!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

The month of December is often characterized with a lot of vehicular and Human traffic especially in the city of Lagos. Lastma is Lagos state Govt's solution to the managing the chaotic traffic situation commuters experience here in Lagos.
Like almost every conceived initiative by Governments in Nigeria, the idea is always terrific, the roll out and implementation leaves a rather disturbing feel about if we can ever do anything right in this country.
While shopping for a Christmas gift for my beautiful wife, i was shocked to find Lastma officials(at 10am) shopping for Perfumes in the same shop as i was!!!!!!!!!!





This shows that all claims of bribery and corruption about this agency is true, or how do you hope to explain the ability of these men to buy perfumes from such an expensive shop with the salary which they are on?
While Fashola and Hitech prepare to milk the residents of Lekki with the Shortest Toll interval in Africa, Lastma boys are preparing for a wonderfully scented smell for Christmas.

Pearl Harbour

It was Pearl Habour all over again, only this time it wasn't the Americans the Japanese bombed to smithereens, it was the Germans. The convoy that represented Omtis and Co. that headed for Ibadan to Attend Sheriff Opeloye's wedding took the Epe-Ijebu Ode route. 4 cars, four different types of drivers all with one purpose, be in Ibadan on time to join their very good friend Shevshenko in celebrating as he leaves bachelor hood behind.



Shev and Zee

Point man was the CEO of LAY records Layi Oke Salako, driving a 1.4L Skoda Fabia a 5 speed manual putting out 75bhp, cleanly followed by Jigga driving the Green Hornet, a 1999 Toyota Camry V6 with 197bhp, Okufi who had as his Co-Pilot; Mad man Dapo Adisa drove a Skoda Octavia MPI, with Tip-tronic transmission putting out 101bhp. whiplash Olasemo dipo drove the Coja BMW 3 series 1.8; BMW's Horse power values are irrelevant because they're so well built a straight 6 BM will out manoeuvre and then out run many V8's.
Such was the convoy line till we got to Epe, where the gas guzzler of the group; the Hornet had to fill its belly. we were pulled over several times by the 'Capable' men of the Nigeria Police who insisted we shared some of our Beer fortune in the trunk with them. we definitely declined and opted to pay a fine of 200card per car.
As we left the coastal town of Epe, Doc. Okufi took point as the fuel sipping Fabia could not just take the pace of the cars behind it. much to the apprehension of a few in the convoy Okufi did excellently well. He was so good that i had to flag him down to slow the pace as the other two cars, the Fabia and the BMW were struggling to keep up. The reason being the road between Epe and Ijebu Ode was really rough and as such there was a lot of braking going, this didn't go down very well with the Fabia and the BMW as they had to shift gears frequently.
The Ijebu Ode- Ibadan leg had a much better stretch of Road, and soon it became a two horse race between the Octavia and the Hornet. The fuel gains Layi experienced during the week in traffic could not compensate for the lack of power on the open stretch of Road. I was Jigga's Co-pilot and i soon became bored and i guess a few others too, Layi took Jigga on the outer lane and was now in pole position 2, we dropped to third. Layi was hungry for bragging rights and soon overtook his bigger and much powerful sibling the octavia to take pole position.
At that point i knew the prefect scene had been drafted to show "there's no replacement for displacement", (though the oldest, Jigga's car had the biggest engine) a tiny stetch of road opened up and in 1 clean swoop JIgga opened the taps and cleaned out the octavia. Layi had gained a little advantage but the lack of real power from that miserly engine failed and with very little effort the green Hornet was back at in front.
The CEO says he was doing 150KM/h when we blew past and at the time i begged Jigga to ease up a bit so we don't get lost as we didn't know the way, he'd clocked 185Km/h.
At that point, there was no rattle and no obvious sign that this green baby could not attain its 220Kmh limit.....
What ever the Japanese have done, they've definitely done very well!!!!!!!
Yo-ishnai, yo ikangnai


From L-R: Jigga, Sheriff, Okufi, Olasemo, Dapo Adisa, Vas1, Jide Nigwo

4 against 2

Ever since my Power bike experience I've developed a new respect for these beasts. This prompted a heated argument between I and a few friends when Kelli showed up in his cruiser. The beef, would the fastest bike in the world outrun the most power production car in the world?
These video's might help make things clearer.

Ducatti Desmosedici vs Ferrari 430 Scuderia


Nissan GTR vs Kawasaki ZX-14

I can make out 1 thing from these videos, on a track (twisty roads), if the power to weight ratios of both bike and car were similar, the bike stands a much better chance of out pacing the car for the simple reason of quicker acceleration. Flat out, the car will eat the Bike up. The reason, Cars always have higher end speeds than Bikes.

The solution to this debacle depending on where you stand is to see a comprehensive test against the fastest and most powerful production car(the Bugatti Veyron) go up against the Kawasaki Ninja ZX -14.
All Bike loving fans shouldn't expect much though as the GTR in the video above has about 1/2 the power output of a Veyron.... pretty sure that wouldn't be a battle!!!!!!!!!

Topgear Vs. Pimp my ride

Having a blog affords me the opportunity to interact with a lot of people on car matters. There’s a question I detest most among all the frequent questions I ever get asked. What can I do to Pimp my Ride?
People often say Nigerians Love cars, that Nigerians drive some of the choicest cars in the world. If I’m sitting whenever I hear that comment I always fall back into my seat( I get weak from hearing that sort of biased, mis-guided and un-informed comment). Now let me ask how many times have you ever seen a Ferrari in this country, any Ferrari at all? Ok, how about a Lamborghini? an Aston Martin? an SLR McLaren? In all my many years crisscrossing Nigeria, I have only come across 1 ferrari and it was 360 Modena. (That means old) it’s since been replaced by the 430 and even that’s been replaced by the 458 Italia.


Topgear or Pimp my ride, who takes it?

Now how do we arrive at the “we drive the baddest cars in Africa” notion come from? I’ll tell you where. It’s from that Lame program called Pimp my ride. Yep you heard me right. The only thing good on that show is the Host. Xhibit hosts the show and is one of my greatest rappers of all time and its no suprise he was recruited to make a lame program cool. The show focuses on restoring beat down, low end scraps to much more "fly" condition. But what do they succeed in doing, they add more gadgets in the form of all manner of LCD screens, sub woofers that weigh more than the moon and rims that are bigger than Mars on these cars and then do little to offset the additional weight burden with more power.
Now a real Car show should focus on the CARS. Cars by their very nature are meant to be driven. So any enhancement to these cars on any show should aid their drivability. Mercedes spends a million pounds a day on research and development!!!!!!!!!!!!! So how on earth do you think a 2 bit part builder from some obscure part of the earth will make a part that could replace one developed with that kind of budget?????
That’s why I love Topgear. It’s hosted by a bunch of Middle aged English men who clown around all day with all sorts of toilet humour and Judge a car based on its performance, its connection with the driver and how much soul it has. Any episode on Topgear that involves restoring a car, the 1st thing that is done is to up the power, reduce the weight and fit bigger brake discs that help with slowing the car down, Pimp my ride would add winged doors(more weight), LCD+mega speakers+sub woofers+huge rims; fitting huge rims on cars are cool but have you asked what it does to the driving dynamics of the car? Well 1st up is this, bigger rims no matter what they’re made from means more weight. Now because you’re just tweaking the rims alone, you have to still fit that rim into the same wheel well as the former one, it means you have to use low profile tyres (remember fities line “low pro’s so it looks like I’m riding on blades”), that then means your tyres have a smaller side wall. The side walls help in absorbing some of the harsh surfaces on our roads. What you’ve simply done is take that part of the dampening effect out making your car more noisy, 1000times more uncomfortable and finally because we have such bad roads, you’ve sunk a well in your pocket because our bad roads will tear up your “low pros” like Jigga tears up a Biggie( remember that the next time you watch Pimp my ride). Ask MTN big boy Gboyega why he took out his 22” rims from his Murano
Before you ever consider "Pimping your ride", please put it in a road worthy condition deserving of a 100% and then if the thought of it crosses your mind be sure not to call me.................
With that point made, I award the car show award to Topgear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omtis Celebrates

Homo sapiens by nature are built to associate. When I was in the university I belonged to a group of noble men called the 3 musketeers (well we became 4 after inducting 1 more member). We were Yemi Coker, Henry Egbunike, Biodun Elemide and the inducted member was Eyinaya Mbagwu. Our sole aim was freeing men from the depression associated with studying Zoology and just having a really good time.
By that same association I was talking about, I became and inducted member of OMTIS, to which my brother was one founding members. They stood to for the cause that man’s true identity could be traced to the bottle. In reality they were a bunch of mutants whose threshold for alcohol was so high very few souls rarely saw them get to their limits. (My induction ceremony was a nightmare)
On sat the 6th of November we ushered one of the last few single members of OMTIS into marriage. Wola Oyesoro was getting married to Moradeyo Adeyemi.

Shevshenko& Wola


From L-R: G. o gbo, Vas1, Wola, Jigga

When OMTIS gathers for any occasion you’re guaranteed to find 2 things, Beer and lots of cars. I got an opportunity to drive for myself 3 cars, the new series Toyota Camry, the 2003 Nissan Xterra and Jigga’s own speeder.
The Toyota camry owned by G.O gbo, was really a sweet car, it came with leather seats, steering mounted controls for the audio system, cruise control and a really cool feature that adjusts the audio system to match the engine noise as you increase speed on the highway thereby ensuring engine noise never drowns whatever it is you’re listening to. It also came with Toyota’s in line 4 Cylinder engine. What that means is that you get 30MPG which is great for your wallet and 169HP. unfortunately as a driver’s car; you might want to sacrifice those MPG values for the 6 cylinder engine putting out 268HP. There is such a long delay between stamping flat on the accelerator and that throw back feeling into the seat I experience everytime in Jigga’s (penciled eye) camry. It makes you hesitate when you want to instantly overtake. Other than the lack of power the camry has so much rear room you can throw a party in the back seat.
After driving the Xterra it further stengtened my belief that bigger isn’t always better. The Xterra had a 3.5L v6 that was eager to go. The ride height was so high up that I felt I was driving a 10 storey building and the hood was so long that it felt I was driving from the back seat of Slama. I have always said short of driving an X5, or a Porsche Cayyene all other SUV’s were nothing more refined than a Toyota Hilux. The Xterra proved this. The Suspension was so out of date hat it felt I was driving a dinosaur. It could do only 1 thing, go in a straight line and that wasn’t even very fast. Avoiding any of the potholes on ikorodu road at top speed was met with so much dip and dive that I wonder why anyone would ever buy any of these relics from prehistoric times.
Jigga’s speeder ofcourse proved itself 1ce more. We attempted to have a go off a green light with a G55 AMG(it packs over 500 hp), we were met with a nothing more than a huge embarrassment. We didn’t even have the decency of seeing the guy’s red light go into the distance. We could only here the sound of that roar from Mercedes 5.5L supercharged beast. Really Jigga’s car proved to be the better of the three from a driver’s perspective. It’s decently fast, which inspires you to throw it harder everytime.
From a realistic point of view, I’d take G.o Gbo’s 2007 Camry. The reason being, it’s newer, and for everyday driving in Lagos it’d be more than sufficient for all the overtaking you’d need to do. Next on my list would be Jigga’s speeder. As a gift I wouldn’t take the Xterra. It’s very thirsty on fuel and I don’t trust the handling one bit.
We all had so much fun at Wola’s wedding ceremony, it was filled with so much Swagg. Happy married life Wola and Moradeyo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Make that Paper

Just one day after writing a piece to celebrate Land Rovers 40th anniversary I get to witness the original 1970 series breakdown right before me.

kai.. dis Moto Heavy o!!!!!!!!
Quite often we’re told that Nigerians are a bunch of resilient, hard working, never say die people but when you witness this kind of determination by my friends over at Lastma to make that ‘paper’ you’ve got to ask yourself am I doing enough for my hustle?
This guys actually helped the unsuspecting driver of this classic push this 2Ton+ monster unto the kerb and then bill em’ while askari stands watch…..

Stop dia my evening cheda has come