Just like Funke
Akindele alias Suria, Aka Jennifer preferring her "modern name". The
Mercedes Benz G63 which happens to be the most popular of all G Wagons had at
its birth "Geländewagen" for its name. It has become more popularly
known as the G Wagon. In German Gelandewagen simply means cross country
vehicle. In its 38 year history, its engine has more than tripled in size in
respect to displacement. If you were like Capt. America and fell asleep in the
first year of the G wagon's creation and woke up just yesterday to a 2017
model, you'd still pretty much recognize it. Style wise, it’s kept its boxy shape.
Its oldest rival the Range Rover has had just about the same number of year
editions but has morphed into a modern 21st century all terrain luxury vehicle.
The G Wagon has had none of that nonsense. Sure it’s picked up a ton of luxury amenities
but it hasn’t gone all soft and dropped off the core of its go “anywhere” underpinnings.
Unlike the Range Rover which relies on a combination of mechanical and
electronic wizardry, the G wagon relies less on electronics. It achieves its
untouchable status using a bunch of levers and gears. While both the Range
Rover and G wagon are very expensive vehicles I’ll ask you a question, and you don’t
get to choose none; which would you rather drive to Iyana Ipaja?
You often might wonder what
all the hype about this car is. After all it’s just a body on frame SUV. Nothing
special about that. Every 4 Runner, Sequoia, Xterra you’ve ever seen has the
same formula. So what’s so unbelievably cool about the G wagon? I recently had
the good fortune of driving a 2015 G63 so I can confidently tell you not one
single thing standing on it own makes it special. It’s like the Manchester
United of old. Little bits here and there all woven nice and neat doing what it’s
been made to do. The renaissance of the G Wagon started in the mid 2000’s.
Prior to that no one in these parts even knew of such a vehicle. The G Wagon
has become a symbol of style and splendour. If you never knew what the G wagon
was all about, Bruce Willis could tell you a bit about it. Whoever didn’t want
one after seeing him in “A good day to die hard?”
Center Dash
Nothing can this squarer
The Key that commands 500 plus hp
Gauge Cluster
Boot Compartment
Joachim Smith I see you!!!
One thing that struck me
about this car is the sheer amount of power a vehicle sitting so high can have.
And I don’t think I am alone in this. Remember the renaissance I talked about
earlier? The cool factor with this car came after the introduction of the G55
in 2005. Without the power, the G Wagon is a tall, slow capable off roader. The
addition of a Supercharger whacked up power to about 460Bhp in the G55 matted
to a 5.4L engine. These days on the G63, power is over 500bhp from a 4.4L twin
turbo. On the G63, steering is heavy at low speeds and full lock takes about
2.5 turns. This is one of those cars that has allowed form take FULL control
over function. Where else will you find a 100 plus thousand dollar car with
exposed hinges and door latches that close shut like a World War 2 riffle?
It’s not supposed to still
be alive today. Mercedes Benz wanted to kill off the G Wagon and therefore
built its replacement. Put in everything the G Wagon didn’t have, even an extra
third row of seats. That SUV is known as the Mercedes Benz GLS. Much to the surprise
of the gentlemen from Stuttgart sales continued to soar with the G Wagon after
the side by side introduction of its replacement. So they said, we’ll keep it
out there a few more years and see. Since that time at least two insane
variants have been introduced. The G500 4x4² and the G63 AMG 6x6.
The G63 AMG 6x6
The G500 4x4²
It’s not all a bed of roses
with the G63. It doesn’t drive as well as other hard performance SUV’s from its
parent nation such as the Porsche Cayenne Turbo or its own sibling the ML 63
AMG or the GL 63AMG or even the Range Rover Autobiography. One thing it does
better than these other guys is make you smile as you can hear me goofing off
Politics has
often been an area I choose not to deliberate on. In the last couple of years a
lot has gone wrong in the country and in my little way I kind of now understand the difficult choices “Sai Baba” must have to contend with daily. In
his closet this question must’ve popped up a good number of times, “Which one
do I start with”?
I had the same
question thrown at me for this article.I met a league of extra ordinary gentle men through a colleague of mine who loaned me their cars, apologies, AUTOMOBILES for this drive review. They had in their arsenal these babies listed below:
Land rover: the dependable workhorse. The one you take when you have to visit a relative in Abesan. Built like a tank. It doesn’t scream luxury. It blends into the neighborhood as its ancestors are still used to chauffeur building blocks to and from client sites.
Lexus GX 460: The dependable luxury workhorse.
Filled to the brim with everything. Name one feature you’d like in an SUV and
its most likely listed as a standard feature on this baby.
Range Rover Autobiography: All I can say here is
if you need to carry four people in absolute luxury, get this truck
Mercedes GLE
Coupe 400:
A viable
substitute to the much misunderstood BMW X6
I had a limited
amount of time and while all of these cars have a unique identity about them I had
to narrow my focus for this article to just one of these cars. A brief roll of
the dice through my mind and I had to just get into the Range Rover
Autobiography. Make no mistake this is a $120,000 monster on wheels and at today’s
rate you’re looking at 70million Naira if you’re bringing it into the country
yourself.
In its presence,
the Range Rover Autobiography gives you an idea why a man will make a living off holding his fellow country man hostage. Open the soft closing doors and you’re greeted
to the sweetest scenting, soft napping leather known to man. It’s softer than a
babies buttocks. This is an absolutely fantastic place to be in.
The shear drama
associated with an engine start is in one word, Majestic. This Range Rover Autobiography
has the super charged engine. 500 plus horse power coupled to a super charger whines so beautifully. The first thing you notice is the rotating dial
on the transmission which pops up on start up. The current edition of the
Mercedes S Class prides itself as the only vehicle to not traditionally have an
incandescent bulb. Well, the Range Rover Autobiography was the first to have a totally digital driver’s
cockpit. Its so well thought out that the tow mounts are electrically retractable. You want to have a drink with your mates while chilling out? fold down the electrically controlled boot lid and it will support the weight of three regular blokes. Opulence and luxury is what this vehicle was designed for. Its no slouch either, it'll hit 60mph in 5.1 seconds while pulling 2.3 tonnes. Except you drive a Super car, do not attempt to race this bad boy.
Obama and the Queen of England go for a ride.
To be fair I can’t
do justice to a review of this SUV. I am intimidated. This is an SUV that has
been used by the Queen of England to chauffeur the leader of the free world. It’s
simply that brilliant. * Do you have a "Special car and you'd like featured here? Please mail me @ biodunb3000@gmail.com
