Guts and Glory!!!!!

Arriving at an intersection, slowing down, I see the reflective jackets of 1,2,3,4 it’s a complete squad of the “popo” (the boys in blue, or black as the case may be). I pull up to them, I’m flagged down and they request for my “papers”. I reach into the glove compartment and hand the papers over to Emmanuel. (I could tell from his name tag on his uniform). He flips through the mount of papers and asks “where is your road worthiness paper”? I begin to loose my cool at that point and I ask what the F**K is Road worthiness? Is that not the F**KN same as MOT? (My huge eye balls were already flaming red at that point). He eye balls me, flips back and forth through the papers and locates the ‘expired’ MOT papers.

Yes’ they were expired, they had been for over a year. He then puts the mount of papers in my face and says ‘they’re expired’. He follows with the very familiar statement, ‘you need to follow me back to the station’. (I knew the game was up so I started to think fast). I said in a really harsh tone, the expired papers must be a mistake, (I quickly look around and identify that none of them are armed). He then insists we go to the station. I Hiss really loudly, I start Slama (she refuses to start the 1^st time) I slap her into drive and zoom off ever so lazily.

Yeah, I did, I left all the papers with Emmanuel. I had a secret of my own though, I have two sets of papers in my car at all times. I knew such a day would come and I was prepared.

I was guilty of driving with expired MOT papers, but Emmanuel as is the case with most Law enforcement agents in Nigeria are guilty of playing on the fact that most Nigerians don’t know what the law says regarding most traffic offences. A few weeks earlier, Fashola gave an order that no 1 should be arrested on any MOT related issue. (Because most MOT certificates were being faked). Instead, such a person should be ordered to visit a genuine test centre to obtain a new certificate. I knew this so I knew Emmanuel was just “boboin”. He knew from the beginning that my MOT papers were expired, but just to obtain more money from me (MOT certificates are obtained for a mere 1grand) he called it Road worthiness!!!! What he didn’t know was that I knew all the names of all papers a car is supposed to have. I knew from having been caught by road safety, VIO, Lastma, Highway patrol, traffic warden a.k.a yellow fever when I was still driving ‘Lord Lugard’ (my Dad’s old 520 Bmer, that car didn’t have 1 registered paper).

Yeah, I was experienced and Emmanuel didn’t see that coming!!!!!

What's This????

Honda Released images of its 2010 Accord Crosstour 4WD. Having a SOHC V6, Churning out 271Bhp. All wheel drive 5 Speed Automatic gearbox.

2010 Accord Crosstour 4WD


2010 Accord Crosstour 4WD Front view
its supposed to cater for the family that travels heavy. (i thought the CRV was doing a good job of catering to this category?)

2010 Accord Crosstour 4WD Rear View


2010 Accord Crosstour 4WD Side view

2010 Accord Crosstour 4WD Trunk
This hideous vehicle is supposed to tackle the Toyota venza

Toyota Venza

No no no no Honda this is a no winner!!!!!!!!!

DUI

Driving under the influence: A very serious offence in the US and Uk. An offence we get off so easily all the time in Nigeria. I’m getting set for a major event in a couple of weeks and as such I need to see my Boo every Saturday. To beat Traffic in Lekki, I leave home before 7am. I’ve noticed that at jakande and Chevron roundabout’s there’s always some ‘new’ car that’s had an accident from the previous Friday night every Saturday when I’m driving out. It never occurred to me what might have been the cause( though it follows a pattern, every Friday-Sat) until recently.

I was at an Ex-room mate’s baby(s) naming Ceremony. A lot of old friends turned up, and there was a lot to eat and “DRINK”, good music was also in abundance. (Ingredients for a great party, and recipe for DUI’ing). By the time I was about leaving, I noticed a friend of mine was ‘unusually’ happy. I walked up to him and said dude how many bottles you got? He responded, 5. Woooooo!!!! This guy normally takes 2 bottles and he’s done. Today he’d done 5 and he’s going to be driving home. I wished him well, got into Slama and drove home.

The following Monday, we were chatting online and he tells me of how he almost crashes in Maryland and how he eventually crashed into a kerb somewhere (he doesn’t recollect where till this time), damaging his Tie Rod and wheel in the process. Total repair cost stood at 7500. (He swore never to drink after this incident) It was at that point it occurred to me. All the accidents I’d seen every Saturday were caused by the bottle!!!! (too much flexing from ‘Friday’ night).

I’ve often wondered why alcohol always makes you feel like you’re Michael Schumacher when you’re under the influence and you’re behind the wheel? It’s a good feeling, it takes you to another level and gives you a connection to the car that you might otherwise not have. At the least when things go wrong due to the ‘influence’ it can cost you a Hangover. Going up the ladder, it can cost you your hard earned cash, further up the ladder it can cost a life.

It’s a serious issue that best be not toyed with not unless you’re "2 lips", the "CEO of L.A.Y Records" or "Ogunmodede a.k.a Bullet head". These three gentle men have mastered the rare ART of drinking and driving (their Livers, Kidneys have no connection to their brain cells once they’re going to drive after drinking). They are unique. They’re ‘gods’. For mere mortals like you and I, if you’re going to drink, don’t drive and if you’re going to drive, don’t drink!!!!!!!

The Joker

With every chance in the world of fuel hitting a 100+ Naira in only a few weeks, you’ll be making more stops to the Fuel station, or you’ll review what you spend weekly on fuel or you’ll just go out less.

Either way, it’s an unwelcome development. There are a few ways to ensure you reduce the frequency with which you’ll be making stops at the fuel station and they’re listed below:

1. Loose Weight: I don’t mean you: your car. Take out anything of no Mechanical importance. i.e. your wheel covers, floor mats, CD pack, umbrella, newspapers, shoes etc. Any additional weight to the weight of the car affects the fuel consumption. If you offer lift to people, STOP!!!
2. Use the AC less: Factory fitted or not, the use of AC increases fuel consumption. The reason simply being the engine is made to do more work when the AC is turned on. Its not a question of that “the manufacturers would have factored that value in”. it’s a case of you can lift two buckets up a stair case, if you lift one and another instance you lift two, which would you have spent more energy?
3. Keep those windows wound up: on hot days this is near impossible, but on cold mornings and evenings, you’d save some fuel by keeping your windows up. Especially when you’re cruising on the highway. Wind drag causes the car to do more work. When the windows are up, the vehicle cuts through air with less drag doing less work and consuming less fuel in the process.
4. Cruise control: what this does is to ensure your car maintains a constant speed. Fluctuating between speed values makes the engine work harder. It’s like an early morning road walk where you run, walk, and jog as against one where you maintain a constant jogging pace. You’ll achieve a longer distance without tiring yourself out. Ensure you keep the car fixed at a certain speed as much as possible.
5. Go slower: the more you open the Taps (throttle) the more fuel gets sent to the engine, the more you burn, the more you visit the petrol station. You’ll get to your destination a bit later but you’ll save up that time by visiting the fuel station less.
6. Have regular Service: that engine will definitely not give you the kind of economy you seek if the car is poorly maintained. Ensure you make scheduled trips to the Service garage.
7. Tyres: under inflated tyres are a means by which you’ll loose out on the fuel game. Under inflated tyres cause excessive drag causing more fuel to be burnt. However, do ensure that your tyres are not over inflated as this can lead to a noticeably harsher ride and cause excessive thread wear.

Super cool Avensis

What you have here, is Lexus’s interpretation of the dismal looking 09 Toyota Avensis. Called Lexus HS250h. The h representing Hybrid: it’s basically an Avensis with an electric motor. It does have the usual Lexus plush ness. A cool gizmo which it has the mouse like control feature in the centre stack.

It achieves a real world 35mpg. Its one Lexus I wouldn’t mind owning

2 hot 4 u

Time is 7.45am, venue, mobil filling station lekki. I had a beautiful night of 1759ing. I got up early to be at my boo’s place. (We’re planning an important occasion coming up soon). I’d stopped over to re-fuel Slama. The attendant seemed to be taking forever. (Thank goodness he did). The station wasn’t packed with many cars; there were a few early risers who’d stopped over for breakfast. It was looking like it was going to be an ordinary day.
I’d gone back into Slama to pick up my wallet and from a distance I heard something just so beautiful, the only thing more beautiful was hearing Slk perform on stage. I gently got out of the car, looked out and there it was, an SL 55 AMG. I’d watched an episode of Topgear where Jeremy Clarkson reviewed his very own SL 55 AMG but nothing prepared me for what it looked like in real life!!! It was stunningly beautiful, painted in chrome blue; the licence plates bore “2 hot 4 u”.
The SL 55 AMG is a lot of car, it has a supercharged V8 churning out 500BHP and 700 Nm of torque, with an asking price of $122,000. Standard features include airconditioned seats that massage you, Radar guided cruise control, voice controlled stereo system and a retractable hard top that folds at the touch of a button. The guy behind the wheel was a middle aged man. I asked Him if I could admire his car, he obliged, grinning from ear to ear as if this was the 1st time someone truly understood and appreciated just what kind of a monster lay beneath the hood of this beauty.
Sitting behind the wheel for me was in simplest terms, heavenly. It had leather sewn dashboard and the seats had the softest kind of leather that gripped you and said “Mamamia, you are going no wia”!!! Cranking up the engine and revving it only told me one thing. I now know what car to use on my wedding day. Yes, some may use Suv’s, Limo’s. Hell no, not me. The SL 55 has to be it for me. I’m sure a whole lot of people would say it doesn’t make any logical sense to use such a car for such an event, but I don’t care!!!
So for all you dude’s that want to make a statement on your wedding day, get the Sl 55, she’ll love you for it.
There you have it, anyone who knows Mr. “2 hot 4 u” please tell him I need to borrow his car… I need to borrow his car!!!!

Naija Repping!!!!!

On a Friday note, we'll be having the 'Sighting for the week'. the Picture here is a Stretch Humvee, sighted on Ajose Adeogun. ( Same Type used in Lil Waynes Lollipop video). it was so long i could not get the full lenght with one shot.
You'll are encouraged to be armed with your Cell phones and Cameras with an Eye out for the Coolest ride you'll see as we go into the weekend. Send your sightings to biodunb3000@yahoo.com and all cool sightings will be posted next week friday and we'll have a vote on the coolest ride for the week. ( maybe we'll get sightings of a Ferrari or a Lambo).
(no web images please, thank you).

Hybrids vs. Diesels

Ever increasing global costs for fuel and stricter Govt. regulations on emissions have lead Car manufacturers to look at various means of getting their cars to attain better MPG values and lower emissions. The most common has been a combination (hybrid) of different engines (electric and mechanical engines). The most popular hybrid is the Toyota Prius. The prius now in its 3^rd generation was originally released in 1997. The prius uses a 1.5L (76Hp) engine in conjunction with a 67Hp electric motor, inco-orporating a start stop system and running only on electric when light footed with the gas pedal. Thus ensuring the gas engine remains turned off and consuming no fuel. When more power is needed, the 1.5L petrol engine comes on seamlessly without the driver ever being aware.

Diesel as a fuel is less volatile than petrol, therefore it burns slower. Previous diesel engines were coarse, harsh and un-refined. However, recent advances in technology led to more powerful, refined and very economical diesel engines. Chief amongst this is the common rail injection perfected by Mercedes Benz.

The Prius, the definition for “hybrids” achieves 50MPG. (That’s an incredible 4.6L per100KM). Even more astonishing, is Volkswagen Polo Blue motion concept (diesel) achieves a mind boggling 71.3MPG (an insane 3.3L per 100KM). Mile for mile these vehicles are closely matched. The diesels however have an advantage in being less complex than a hybrid and often always have more torque (torque is what you need when overtaking).

Another advantage with modern diesels is that they release less C02 into the atmosphere, so if you were in the UK where you pay vehicle tax, not on the size or age of your vehicle (like Nigeria) but on the amount of harmful materials your vehicle lets in the atmosphere. The Polo Blue motion emits just 87g/Km of C02. The Prius emits 89g/KM of C02.

Another point worth mentioning is, Hybrids are more expensive than non hybrid cars (a Civic hybrid will cost more than a regular Civic), and so to make sense out of buying a hybrid, you’d probably have to drive for many years before covering up the difference.

From the foregoing, we now know diesels attain better MPG values, and release less pollutants into the atmosphere, with the threat of perol going up to 93 naira in a few weeks, getting a diesel should be a no brainer?

Personally I’d recommend a diesel. Audi produced 3 straight wins in Le-Mans with a diesel burner.They’re less complex, cheaper and would not be in threat of breaking down every time in Nigeria (imagine driving a Prius and you live in Lekki, you’d probably get electrocuted 1 day when it rains very heavily).

As we look forward to finding a trully ''eco'' vehicle, you'd do well to look in the direction of the diesel engine!!!!!!!!

Men vs. women Drivers

It’s amazing how men tend to fall in love with cars. They treat them as an extended part of themselves, cleaning, tweaking all the time ensuring the car is in its most graceful state.
Women on the other hand tend to feel such passion for shoes, clothes and bags. Small wonder men tend to start driving at a much earlier age than women and as such become better drivers. Sharp contrasts when you consider women attain puberty earlier than men.
Personally I believe that there are a lot of bad drivers in Nigeria. The reasons are numerous and diverse. One being that many people aren’t taught properly at the start. Another being the nasty habit of many drivers not reading the Highway Code; you also have fear (of what I can’t really tell). Don’t also forget bad eye sight; hearing etc. the list is endless.
By default, men are better drivers but occasionally you find a few exceptional women that can take it to the men, anytime, anyplace. An awesome example is Dana Patrick who became the 1st woman to win the Indy 500. As my Dad once told me in Primary school, there are two categories of women drivers. 1st the ones you never, ever want to be behind (either in traffic or on the free way) and the “killer kind” whom you never see coming and will embarrass you as you try to show off your driving skills to your buddies. (My brother has fallen victim to such an unsuspecting woman).
I clearly recollect following a colleague home one evening from work. We were leaving the car park, her car was deep behind several cars, and so being a gentleman I offered to drive all 6 cars and hers out. On getting her car out, I handed the keys back to her. We left the Marina and we headed towards Lekki. On getting to VI, we got off Ozumba (I figured we were avoiding traffic) when we got to Oniru, I was a bit confused when we didn’t get back on the expressway. At that point, I asked why we were not joining the highway. She then told me we were taking the “Jeep Route”( the shoreline from VI to Epe). She drives a Jeep Liberty. On the Jeep Route, she brought that “killer side” I mentioned earlier. Her driving was simply flawless. The Liberty ate everything that was thrown at it. There were SUV’s falling by the way side, ohhh nooo not us. Ada would not permit that. She conquered the tracks and dropped me off at Alpha Beach, yes on the shore line. It was simply the most brilliant piece of driving I had seen. I was more than impressed at her driving and I must say she had done excellently to curb my bias for women drivers.

What the Japanese have done for us!!!!

The internal Combustion engine was made by Carl Benz (German), the revolution in the automobile industry came with the Ford Model T. These cars were made in large numbers thus ensuring many people could afford them: Thus the start of the modern auto age.
The American dominance of the Auto industry continued for many decades. The Germans concentrated on precision engineering; developing brands that were so detailed they became an engineering marvel (most Heads of States ride in Mercedes Benz). The British were responsible for cars meant for speed because of their winding back country roads (jaguars and Astons) but the Italians took it upon themselves to perfect this act. Today they make some of the best super cars in the world. The French have never really been good at anything (the only thing they made that ever made sense was the 504, and that’s hugely debatable if you’re not Nigerian).
It wasn’t until after the 2nd world war that the Japanese started making cars. Their country was so torn apart that right from the start, the emphasis could only be to make light, efficient cars. This paid off after almost 60 years when Toyota surpassed GM to become the number 1 car manufacturer in the World!!!
The Germans had as far back as the 60’s made performance models of base brands (AMG of Mercedes). Japanese however joined the league of extra ordinary cars in the 90’s with launch of the Lexus. Nissan’s infinity following. Honda’s Acura and Mitsubishi’s Ralliart having come in the late 80’s but failed to make the kind of impact that Lexus made with the LS 400.
Let me give you a clearer picture of the Japanese presence, 4 out of every 5 visitors who read this blog and own cars will own a Japanese car!!! On your way home today, look around you; I’m sure the vehicle to your left, right, front and back at some point will all be Japanese.
The Japanese found an efficient way to make mass produced, hugely reliable cars that were so miserly on fuel when other car manufacturers made guzzlers thinking fuel like beer was always going to be cheap.
For everyone who has driven a German equivalent of a Japanese car (say a camry against a Passat, or a 316 BMER against a full optioned corolla) I’m sure you’d give it to the Germans everytime. But how come these Japanese cars are everywhere? I’ll tell you why; because they’re cheap and reliable. A modern Japanese car can guarantee you three things
1. It will start in the morinig
2. It will take you out
3. It will bring you back
( it doesn’t always guarantee any form of driving excitement though)
In a world as crazy as the one we live in, what more can you demand from your car on a regular basis? This is ofcourse if you’re not a Petrol head that doesn’t care about how much Horse Power his car has or its weight, or how well its planted while cornering at hair raising speeds.
Nope, the vast majority of the populace don’t care about all that, and until they do which I don’t foresee in the near future, the Japs still have the winning formula.
Way to go Japs!!!!