My American dream

Focused. Restricted view, eyes up ahead on the road away from the mundane interior is how the test Camaro featured here gets you to sit. The windscreen is raked backwards giving the driver the message this is a car to be taken seriously. 

2011 Camaro test car

I have 1 lap, take it out for a quick spin and worse still i have to share the lap with my sidekick.
I opt for the long route, a trip to Vgc and back. On a Friday night this would give me sufficient time to fully max this car out but on a Saturday afternoon i would need to be at my A game to dare test its output. 

2011 Camaro test car rear view

Set out point was Osapa, i take the short stretch to Jakande to familiarize myself with the beast lurking underneath the bonnet. Brakes are firm, steering has a 2 turn lock, seats are bolstered firmly. This car has a custom-fitted JL audio system that costs as much as a small car.

9000$ sound system fitted to the test car

I don't hear any of whats playing out over the stereo as my heart is beating fast. I can feel the sub-woofers tearing against my seat and hitting at my kidneys. How will i conquer the wild animal which will be unleashed once i open the taps is what i am focused on.
There's a lot at stake here, this is the most powerful car i have driven and while this test car isn't the SS or RS it still packs enough punch to beat almost every car you see on the road. A quick poke at the accelerator pedal sees me dart past one, two, three cars before the 2nd gear comes. Ohh boy, this was gonna be 1 heck of a ride. In the corner of my eye, i see my test partner gripping for roof holder, it wasn't there. I was going past cars on the road like yokozuna was tearing through pizza's. I had arrived at the chevron toll gate all too soon... It was a hot afternoon, it was getting hotter still and so i ask my buddie to power on the AC.

Approaching the Chevron toll gate.

 This was about half way through my half lap of this test. Cooling came quickly and precisely, i was fast acquainting myself with this car. Though a base model, this car came with a sports exhaust which meant the faster you go, the louder the exhaust note became. I was aiming for every car on the horizon and gunning them down with no effort. I approached the Megachicken turn and didn't bother to lift off the accelerator. I took the turn on the outer lane, crossed right to the inner lane and had the round about in my sights. It was like being thrown into the room with the girl you dreamed off in secondary school and your 2 minutes were almost up...you would look around and check to see if you'd done everything. I was at that point here and as i looked at the dash, i was clocking 145-150km\h. For purposes of comparison, the speedo tops out at 160. In this car you get no sensation of speed. The word speed is dead to you in this beast. 

Center stack on the 2011 Camaro

My brain instantly told my huge right foot to get up and move, move over to the break pedal and slow things down. I reached Vgc seconds after my brain functioned on its own for the 1st time in a long time.
This had been an experience, i had in my own way lived the american dream!!!!!!  

Living the dream

Olaotan my side kick having a go at the Camaro

PS: A big shout out to my main man the 'Jike' and AOO for loaning me the test car.

300

There is something particularly interesting about the number 300. When a movie has a title "300" or the Horsepower output of a car is 300, you know its going to be some scary fun.

Being a Car critic, I have been privileged to drive a diverse array of cars and embarked on some hair raising races. As fortunate as I have been, I never crossed the 300Hp mark behind the wheel of a car. That is until now. Let me put this in perspective, majority of the people who will read this article will own a Japanese car Largely Toyota's. Fewer will own the top of the range models that come with V6 engines. As for a fact, as fast as any V6 engine is on any Toyota model , it is LESS than 300Hp. Apply the same rule to Honda’s as well.

2007 Acura Tech Package with rear DVD system

Being behind the wheels of a 300hp is an experience. It would rival a devout Muslim visiting the holy city of Mecca. I have never been a Honda/ Acura fan chiefly because of the nasty experience I had while trying to dispose of a 2002 Honda Accord. It was a full spec model with a V6 engine doing some damage. For its 2 year life cycle, the owner had replaced the transmission 4 times. It had the most damaging shift delays.

The 2007 Acura MDX Sport Package with Entertainment pack redeemed Acura’s lost image with me. The MDX at inception was a souped up version of the Honda Pilot. For its 2^nd generation, Acura went bunkers. Minus all the tech Gizmos that makes you love the MDX, it packs a 3.7L 300Hp engine which has power going to all wheels via Acura’s proprietary SH-AWD.

I had the pleasure of spending a week with this car and I can tell you very few things will outrun it on the streets of Lagos. 

The Ultimate Offroader

One of the 1st things you notice as a 1st timer in Abuja is the obvious lack of presence of SUVS. This is more glaring if you have spent sometime in Lagos.
Other than the need to cross the vast majority of pothole infested B roads in Lagos, the SUV is a symbolic tool of wealth display in Nigeria.
There are as many categories and configurations on the Suv cadre as there are data bundles on MTN network. I have always hated Suv's, they are slow, guzzle fuel and aren't particularly sporty. Even the luxury models aren't always particularly space oriented. I have joined the ownership craze and there's a BMW X3 for the family now. Its fast, and drives very well. 

Lexus GX 470

It does have a draw back though, its a very aggressive vehicle and will at no mention will kick you in the back of the head.
As i have publicly declared before now, i am totally biased whenever it concerns the Lexus brand. I love the Ls 430 and only just recently bought an Es 300 for a client when he clearly insisted he wanted a Honda Accord. Its no surprise therefore when i tell you the best Suv out there in the market is the Gx470.

Its silky smooth and extremely refined. Its got some power to itself, but it wasn't meant to be hustled. It was built to caress every inch of your being and make you realise life doesn't need be so intense. Its closely built on the Toyota Prado which i would liken to a 'baby reaching its full term and one which was delivered at only 6 months'.
If you own a Lexus Gx470 today, please give it a hug and a kiss. If you don't,find someone who does and take a ride in it. And further still if you don't belong to any of the categories above, jump off a cliff because you're dead anyway!!!

More and More

More and More was the title track off Joe's famous album "And then". I thought i was Joe's biggest fan till i met my course mate and eventual room mate in the person of SAHIB. I Loved Joe, i still do. My greatest regret was not being to attend any of his shows when he came to Nigeria. If you listen to the Song "More and More" you will get a sense that enough was just about sufficient but Joe wanted an over the top sexual experience.

Hennessey venom GT

For several years i have touted the Germans as being the best at making cars. The Bugatti Veyron super sport which is at heart a German car was the fastest production car till it was upstaged by some drunk car manufacturer in the form Hennessey venom GT. The excess speed comes from pumped off versions of the original cars packing extra horses.

Bugatti Veyron super sport


This extra horse power madness has been dragged right across the street to 4 door saloon cars. Let me put some perspective to this, the Toyota Camry 2007 model 4 cylinder engine has 158hp. For most of you out there, you will never clock out the maximum speed limit. The cars i shall list below, pack as much as 4 times the amount of power present in the Camry. Do they sit as many as 4 times the number of occupants or have 4 times more doors? The rhetorical response to that is NO.

10. Jaguar XFR-S - 550 HP

9. Cadillac CTS-V - 556 HP

8. BMW M5 / M6 Gran Coupe - 560 HP

7. Audi RS7 - 560 HP

6. Porsche Panamera Turbo S - 570 HP

         

5. Mercedes-Benz E63, S63, CLS63 AMG - 577 HP

4. Rolls-Royce Ghost V-Specification - 593 HP

3. Bentley Continental Flying Spur - 616 HP

2. Mercedes-Benz S65 AMG - 621 HP

1. 2015 Dodge Charger SRT Hellcat: 707 hp

As you can rightly guess my anger stems from 2 successive defeats to the Germans coming from the American camp. it feels like WWII all over again.
Other than winning wars, the Americans aren't really good at any thing else. They're especially terrible at building cars. But when they upstage the Germans in 2 successive battles in less than 2 years, it could only mean one of two things: they've built utterly rubbish cars or they have managed to do the unthinkable, build exceptionally brilliant cars!!!!

5ft 9”

There is a certain calmness that comes with knowing you are above average. Ask any guy out there, the thought of a man falling below average especially in certain “regions” can be a deadly blow to his ego.

My reason for this thought, the Kwazimodo. That’s the name giving to the Lexus ES300 which I recently helped a goon of mine acquire. This will be my third stint with any Lexus. Some say I have a huge bias for Toyota’s luxury line up, in a way I do believe this to be true.

What is clear to me is my grave animosity for bland vehicles. A large percentage if not all Toyota's are built this way. Reliability, economy and least performance are the criteria with Toyota’s are set up on.

2014 Toyota Corolla interior

Lexus on the other hand are set up to be Luxurious and performance driven. In my opinion, Lexus is what every Toyota should have been. Let me highlight a clear example.

interior of 2004 Toyota Camry XLE V6 test car

Interior of 2003 Lexus ES300 test car 

Though separated by a few months by date of manufacture, power on these cars above are clearly identical as highlighted below:

Car	2003 Lexus ES300	2004 Toyota Camry XLE V6
Hp	210	210
Cylinders	6	6

2003 Lexus ES300 test ca

2004 Toyota Camry XLE V6 Test Car

Strangely both owners of these cars are close buddies. The drive and feel of both cars are strangely very similar but widely different.

The Lexus is deafeningly quiet and shifts require you to keep your eyes on the tachometer to know when it happens. The Toyota is more audible and doesn’t like to be pushed around corners a lot. They acceleration on the Lexus is very direct, intense and linear. The Camry goes but you get a sense of it wanting you to put an effort into it.

2003 Lexus ES300 test car

2004 Toyota Camry XLE V6 test car

The picture above should explain the simple difference between these two cars. The item highlighted in RED in the Lexus is called the front strut Bar. It basically acts as an anti-roll bar. It keeps things nice, turgid and neat. This for me is the basic reason the Lexus drives so very well.

Make no mistake, the ES300 doesn’t drive like a BMW 3 series. It also doesn’t drive like a Toyota. But like a Toyota it possesses the ease of mind factor. You know this car will take you out, bring you back home and if it does fail on the open road it won’t cost an arm and a leg to fix.

Friday Night's

Friday nights are always special. Even women of loose virtue expect an increased patronage on Friday nights. So when a former OMTI associate such as myself gets a green card to stay out late on a Friday, you know something is going to go down when I have only just gotten my pay check and I have in my possession a BMW X3 and the company of a Japanese car faithful always looking for a good fight.

2003 Toyota Camry LE

2004 BMW X3 2.5i

In company of the Friday night hang out was General Ologun, a 5ft 8” colleague who had previously raced a co- colleague in his 2001 ML Mercedes till he almost crashed it. General Ologun won that episode. I, being a German car lobbyist could not stand the shame as Capt. Gucchiano was relentlessly battered and pounded on that race home to Ajah.

On my shoulders rested the responsibility of the German bias, this race was before the world cup finals. The Germans had not stamped their name in world matters since WWII. I knew it was going to be a closely fought race and I immediately went on the offensive.I almost ran him off the road of the back stretch coming off water copration Rd into Ligali ayorinde. If I was going to redeem the pride of the Deutschland Capt. Gucchiano had let go to the dogs, I had to employ all kinds of mind tricks. That dangerous and intimidating overtake had signalled the start of the race.

Fast forward to 2 roundabouts later on lekki epe. I had taken the alternative route. The General took the toll. Hazard lights flashing I parked by Marwa round about and knew the General was going to come out all guns blazing. The general misconception in this part of the world is that bigger vehicles and newer vehicles are always going to be faster. You cannot be further from the truth. The chart below should better explain just how close this race was going to be:

	BMW X3 2.5	Toyota Camry LE
Year of Manufacture	04	03
Hp	184	154
Fuel Consumption	17/23 Mpg	24/34 Mpg
Cylinders	6	4
Gears	5	4
0-60 times	8.4	8.6
Curb weight	1814 kg	1425kg
Engine displacement	2.5L	2.4L

 Source
Refrence

Any advantages of 30Hp I had was offset by the almost 400kg additional weight the X3 carried along with it. The flash speed with which I was left with at the roundabout while waiting for the race on the open road, opened up a nearly 5 second lead for the General.

I had driven his measly Camry and I knew it had one fatal flaw; the brakes sucked. Lekki Epe road is now notorious for the number of roundabouts it has. This race was going to be won or lost at one or more of the many roundabouts. I approached the braking zone for the next round about at 140km/H. I watched up ahead as the General tried to brake and his Japanese crap struggled for grip, twerking about like Miley Cyrus on stilettos. I waited late and slowed down, going into the roundabout at 70Km/H. With a gentle flick right and then left and a right foot on the accelerator I was I approaching nearly 100km/H in just a few seconds and I was right on the Generals ass. It was now neck and neck and on the next stretch I had weaved past him thanks in part to good lane prediction and the fact the X3 had a manual Mode. Under hard acceleration, the Bmer would hold gears all the way to its redline before up-shifting. The Camry couldn't do that.

Much more than the raw power the X3 offered, I was mostly impressed by the fact that this here was an SUV that accelerated better than a closely powered car and handled like it was a dream. What killed it for me was the fact that above 150Km/H, there was a deep roar coming from the engine. The last car I heard that from was from Blue angel (a 504 GR), accelerating above a 100Km/H.

By chevron toll gate, I had opened up more than 4 seconds advantage and to kill the race I had to choose the perfect toll booth. I was torn between booth 1 and 4. A last second mind change saw me swerve from booth 1 to 4 at almost 120Km/H and braking very late ensured the race was over. The General could not brake half as hard as i could and he had to offload his weekly scrub bymega chicken bustop.

It wasn’t much of a race beyond this point, I simply like Lewis Hamilton in the last British Gran Prix had to nurse the X3 home.